im leaving for UK in 3days time...n he's gona get his keys to his apt...it hurts that i dont get to see the house with him...n even more knowing that he din feel a thing...no aww..tat sucks...NOTHIN'...all i get was...well...i cant help it right......
he's tryin to get the house rented out as soon as possible...means he has to furnish it ...which wil prob take plc when im over in europe...meant when im back n my first sight of the apt will be all furnished...i know i have no say whatsoever in on what he's gona buy n how he's gona decorate his plc but i can help but felt left out...i know he wants to be independent n all..make his own decisions...i respect that but it hurts that his mom or dad or him is gona get the kitchen fixed...i still remember like a year ago when he bought his apt...i've already told him i wish to decide hws the kitchen gona look like n i've dreamt about the day ever since.....I've prob think too much...im the only who think that one day i might ended up cooking in that kitchen...n i wanted to be the one who design n choose it...or at least have a bit of say in it...but heck..am i naive......for him its just a damn kitchen......
it's prob just me...is it normal? to think bout our future? does he do the same? he doesnt seem to...which still comes down to the same question that seems to keep bothering me...are we meant to be? i envy those couple who seems to have a common dream bout their future...plans about their future...its so sweet and make the gal felt so safe n secure...we nvr did have those...not together...it's all ME...describing everything n he mostly just nods or act along...nvr a dream from him......am i taking this too far? is he really serious bout this?mebbe i need to make dreams for me...ALONE....
izit wrong to stand up for ur gf? why is he so worried bout what he's gona tell his parents when his parents ask him why cant they fix the kitchen? why must it be ...she asked me to wait...if i deco it ...she'll mengamuk...instead of im steady with her n i wan her to be a part of this or she'll be the one cooking in there in the future so i wanted it to be special for her?? it would seems so natural when i tell my parents if im in his shoes...its nvr the case cos tats hw he tinks of it...he nvr did wan me to deco it in the first plc...it doesnt matter to him who does it or if i wanna do it...im nvr in the picture....it hurtssss.......
he told me that y cant i just make my pt n leave it to him n trust him to make the right decision...i mean...will he? it doesnt even make sense to him y i insisted on deco the kitchen...n he made it more than obvious that it all depends when he get the keys n when he's renting it out...n he's worried bout what his parents gona think..n have no idea hw to stand up for his gf...n hes asking me to trust him to make the right decision? can i really???
i can...when he's like..true...i understand that...i wish for u to cook in there one day n i wud really like it if u can have a kitchen u'll be comfy in.....den yes...i'll fully trust him...sadly...this is not the case....
from what he said...it seems like its just not as simple as his parents juts helping out in the finance dept ...but it seems like the portion he paid seems to equal amt of say they have in everything else...
but hey...y am i so bothered bout this stuff n let it get to me??? like he said..its not even my hse........
it says it all......
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